The Agony of Modern Manners

The workplace is a hotbed of procedure and politics. Here the Aunts and Uncles guide you through the first day of a new job, explain the do's and don'ts of the office fridge, how you should behave in a lift and what you should and shouldn't wear to the office.

The home is as tough as any office and the biggest troublemakers are the freeloaders who don't buy food or pay rent. Then there are the noisy, the germ freaks, the controlling and the lazy sods who leave a little bit of milk in the carton so they don't have to throw it out, or a square of toilet paper on the toilet roll so replacing it is someone else's job.

The Aunts and Uncles discuss the merit of emoticons, and tell us whether abbreviations like "thx", "yrs" and "omg" are appropriate or should we just write the words out in full? What of trolls? Do you ignore or respond? And if you were to respond, what is a proportional response?

Most travel starts with walking. Is it polite to walk double and triple abreast? And should others have to move around you because you're busy looking at your smart phone? Then there's driving and drivers who go too fast, too slow, don't merge, don't allow others to merge, honk willfully and turn their music up at traffic lights.

The Aunts and Uncles discuss the range of dining misdemeanors at restaurants, including diners who reach across the table, pick their teeth in full view of everyone and talk with their mouth full.

Weddings first. Who do you invite? How do you be a good Best Man and Maid of Honour? Is it about organising an unforgettable bucks/hens night or delivering them to the church alive and on time.