Lucille's scheme to upstage her rival, Lucille Austero, at a bachelorette auction backfires when Gob mistakenly bids $10,000 on the wrong Lucille.
The family attorney announces that if $20,000 in bail money is raised, George Sr. can be released from prison in time for the Christmas "Living Classics Pageant."
Convinced that the family's image is hurting his son's future, Michael hires an attractive publicist who proceeds to write a scathing article after Michael rebuffs her advances.
Despite his crush on Marta, Michael agrees to help Gob figure out if she has a new lover while George-Michael tries to figure out his feelings for his cousin Maeby.
Things get awkward after Michael dates George-Michael's ethics teacher then learns his son has a crush on her. George Sr. receives a visit from Cindi, a fan of his "Caged Wisdom" tapes.