Ross plans a surprise for Monica and Chandler's wedding--he wants to play the bagpipes. Drake Ramoray is coming out of his coma on Days of Our Lives. A diva will be killed off and her character's brain will be transplanted into Drake's. Joey and the diva hook up. Phoebe and Rachel fight over a guy who left his cell phone in Central Perk.
After breaking up with Robin, Barney pulls out all of his greatest tricks to get back into the dating scene.
When Jess decides to take her relationship with Paul to the next level, she consults with the guys for some sex advice. Meanwhile, Schmidt worms his way into his boss’ baby shower to compete with his office female counterpart.
Marshall tells a story about the Slap of a Million Exploding Suns as he tries to deliver a final, devastating slap to Barney.
When Jess desperately tries to fit in with a clique of “mean girl” teachers at her new school, she (mistakenly) turns to Nick for advice on how to deal with them. Meanwhile, an office party is anything but fun for Schmidt, and Winston plots revenge while cat-sitting for Daisy, whom he suspects is cheating on him.
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