Hal gets a rash from the hot tub he was supposed to keep clean; Malcolm gets his driver's permit.

Grandma Ida announces that she plans to marry a wealthy Chinese man she met on a cruise; Malcolm gets his tongue pierced.

Reese teaches Malcolm how to play dumb when his brainy blather bores a cute girl.

Lois talks to Malcolm at length about sex during a long car trip.

No one wants to tell Stevie his parents are getting a divorce, until Reese spills the beans.

Family takes a road trip to Las Vegas to support Dewey in a contest for junior farmers; a lounge singer (David Cassidy) invites Lois backstage.

Hal and the boys slash the prices of their Christmas trees to outsell a nearby church; when business booms, the guys are threatened by two priests from the competing lot.

The boys argue when Reese is put in charge of the family garage sale; Hal broadcasts a pirate radio show.

Malcolm fears he will grow up to resemble a genius chess player named Leonard (Jason Alexander), who has no friends.

Lois and Hal pretend to be parishioners at a local church so they can enroll the baby in its day care program.

Malcolm alerts the ACLU when he encounters censorship while working on the high-school literary magazine; Hal tries to flirt with the woman in his office responsible for cutbacks.

Hal papers the neighborhood with notices in an effort to find Malcolm, who is hiding out in his girlfriend's attic.

Malcolm chooses Reese as his subject for an abnormal psychology midterm project; Dewey earns some extra cash as a street performer.

The boys pester each other all day long until Lois is forced to ground Malcolm on his birthday; Hal decides to buy Malcolm a comic book.

A girl's father forbids Malcolm to date his daughter; Reese and Dewey discover a neighborhood boy who looks just like Dewey.

While visiting a college campus, Lois insists on staying with Malcolm in the coed dormitory, where she clashes with a power-hungry resident adviser.

A teacher (guest star Chris Eigeman) urges Malcolm and the other Krelboynes to cheat during an academic decathlon.

The boys try to show their too-responsible oldest brother that he is still a troublemaker at heart.

Neighbors throw their annual block party while Malcolm and his family are on vacation.

Roxy attends Sea View Middle School as a new tween student in order to protect Miley from the new school bully, the Cracker. Unable to take Roxy's interference with her school and social life, Miley finally does the right thing and gets the principal involved to help solve the problem. Robby and Jackson get stuck in the snow when attempting to take a weekend fishing trip and meet a lonely inn keeper and his ventriloquist dummy.