Disgraced city cop Toby Banks arrives in Coolum for his new assignment: night shift officer in a dingy old caravan on the outskirts of town. The other cops in town are investigating a break-in at the Frequent Fryers Chicken Shop, but no money was taken from the till. Banks meets Gregor, the ancient night security man in Coolum, who believes the break-in was the work of a chicken-man.

A radio host is found dead after riding a lawnmower off a cliff and destroying a park. Banks suspects that drugs are involved, but Sergeant Lloyd refuses to believe it. When Tom, a local kid who works at the radio station, also destroys a garden with a lawnmower, Gregor suspects something paranormal. He believes an evil radio jingle from a bygone era is possessing anyone who listens to it.

After the Coolum Theatre is vandalized, Banks and Gregor are tasked with catching the culprit. But when spooky things begin to happen, Gregor points the finger at the theatre’s ghost. Banks refuses to believe Gregor’s tale, and when an elderly man, Burt Ferguson, is caught inside the theatre, Gregor thinks they’ve found a dead actor from the past. But Banks thinks Burt is just a senile old man.

After a spate of bird murders, Gregor believes a serial-killer cat has returned from the dead to wreak havoc on the town and seek revenge against his oldest foe.

A hot, naked Scandinavian named Lola washes up on Coolum beach and causes quite a stir. Banks thinks she’s a lost backpacker and is determined to help her. Gregor assumes she is a mermaid, with a potent siren song. When Lola takes a liking to Banks, he is somewhat flattered and nervous. Not Gregor—he thinks that Lola wants to eat Banks for dinner and sets about trying to prove it.

There is a tree attacking people in Coolum. At least, that’s what Gregor thinks. But someone, or something, is also planting saplings at the scene of each attack. That clue leads Banks and Gregor to Adrian’s Enchanted Florist, Coolum’s local flower shop. When they arrive, they are taken hostage by the wild-eyed owner, who has a devious plan: he wants to turn everyone in Coolum into a tree.