It is parents' evening at Abbey Grove School and Alfie is under pressure from the deputy headmistress Miss Pickwell to mark his mock exam papers, otherwise she will fail his whole class. However, news that biology teacher Miss Gulliver has split from her boyfriend only serves to distract him as he becomes fixated with securing a date with her. But with the unpredictable headmaster Mr Fraser also keen to make a move on Miss Gulliver, Alfie resorts to desperate measures both to mark the papers and beat Fraser to a date.

Abbey Grove School parents are worried about the impending arrival of the French exchange students, after Jean Claude and his French classmates ran riot leaving a wake of lovestruck teenagers behind them the previous year. This year, Fraser is determined to prove to the angry parents that he has got everything under control, especially with his right-hand man Alfie by his side. But is Alfie really the right man to entrust with a sex education class? Things are relieved when it turns out that Fraser had screwed up and accidentally arranged an exchange with a town in Holland. But keeping things with them is easier said than done, thanks to one exchange student who every woman in the school seems to want.

A new computer game craze hits Abbey Grove School that has got the children imitating a dangerous move called the 'blitz kick'. Fraser decides to buy a copy of the game to see what all the fuss is about but inadvertently turns his staff into addicts as well. Alfie decides to support his beloved Miss Gulliver in taking a stand against all this violence by organising a weapons amnesty. While Fraser hires a very inappropriate self-defence tutor, Preet, to help demonstrate the dangers of violence.

Banned from organising his own trip after a disastrous previous outing, Alfie's class are sent on Miss Gulliver's field trip to a combined petting zoo and ink museum. Alfie's pretty upset to learn she has a blind date later that day, but things get even worse when the bus gets lost in the woods.

Alfie reveals a hidden 'talent' when the annual football match between Abbey Grove and the school he attended, Middleton House, approaches. Will the benefit scroungers pull it off, or Middleton's snooty toff boys who clinch the win?

Fraser's on professional suspension after an unfortunate incident involving a projector. With the school elections due to take place, Pickwell's determined to show the governors that she can run something successfully, and Alfie's keen to show Miss Gulliver he can take politics seriously.