Prince Charles tries to keep his family in order, but Wills wants to mingle with the people. Pippa, resentful at her sister for bagging a Prince, uses her `perfect curves' to lure Harry.

Kate catches Ebola on a humanitarian mission and when Wills rushes to her bedside, his meddling father Prince Charles quashes his long-held air ambulance dreams. Beatrice and Eugenie's new careers as internet make-up sensations are dashed.

When a stranger claims that Prince Charles is his father, Charles questions who will be second in line to the throne after him. Meanwhile, Wills and Kate shun their royal life and move to her dream semi in Rickmansworth.

Wills becomes obsessed by the Royal Variety Show while Kate finds herself preoccupied with the Archbishop of Canterbury. The family proves itself as `in touch' as ever as Charles and Camilla try to pass themselves off as lefties.

Wills has become disillusioned with his role and calls for a referendum on the abolition of the monarchy. Camilla resorts to a campaign of dirty tricks and uncovers some shocking news about Kate.

Since the public voted to abolish the monarchy, it seems Britain has become a dystopian nightmare, with Beatrice and Eugenie fighting to the death in a posh Hunger Games.