Warren United

An own goal six minutes into stoppage time in the last game of the season keeps Brainsford up! Warren is over the moon until he realizes that the first pre-season friendly won’t be for 6 whole weeks. Dillip tries to help by taking Warren to the cricket. It doesn’t work. Reggie tries to divert him but Warren is unswerved. Finally, Ingrid organizes some drastic help. Will Warren finally get a result?

There’s a big cup match for Brainsford United coming up and Warren is beside himself with excitement. They’ve have signed a new striker called Ronanldinho, there’s even have a cheerleader initiative and it might be sunny. Warren persuades Ingrid and Harrison to join him in painting their faces in the team colours.

Harrison is chosen to be the mascot at the next Brainsford home game. Warren is ecstatic. The rest of the world less so. When Dave Worsely, Mr Kitchen Madness himself, summons Warren to his office to tell him that he wants his son to take Harrison’s place Warren won’t sell out will he? Even for the money he needs for a cataract operation for his Mum? What will he do when all his plans take a huge set back?

There’s Only One Warren Kingsley! Or is there? When the Luxor brothers mistakenly spend £50m on a new striker you would think Warren would be happy. Not only is he good looking and a model citizen, but he can actually play. The only problem is that his name is Warren Kingsley . Warren’s dreams of running onto the pitch as the crowd sing "There’s only one Warren Kingsley" are suddenly just that... dreams. As he so simply puts it "...I was unique. And now I’m — twonique. I’m a word that does exist". Meanwhile Mum seems to be acting strangely. Can things get any worse?

Brainsford United are in need of a new sponsorship deal and Fat Baz’s job is on the line. Warren and Ingrid both get drawn in to the world of mystery shopping.

Warren bemoans the number of teams being taken over by international billionaires. He wants to know why Brainsford is being passed over. Meanwhile Reggie and Mum decide to get away from it all.