Alan Bird (Bill Paterson, Outlander, Dad's Army) thinks he has life pretty well organised. Glasgow's top DJ, with a nice apartment, and the only red BMW Cabriolet north of Manchester, he has little to worry about until his kleptomaniac girlfriend Maddy ditches him just before Christmas. With his apartment and his life stripped bare, he stumbles across a furious vendetta between rival ice-cream families. Caught in the crossfire and looking for something meaningful in life, he decides to take things seriously and settle the dispute between these feuding mafiosi.