Screen Legend Dick West and his cat, Dr. Potato, were just minding their own business, until someone crossed the line and insulted Dr. Potato on the Internet, bringing the fight to their living room. Now, it's personal!

Screen Legend Dick West visits the mall to follow people around and buy some suits for upcoming court appearances. As usual, wherever he goes, and whatever he does, things don't turn out the way he plans.

The Screen Legend gets pressured into going to a lunch meeting at Captain Jimbo's Seafood House where he receives some bad news and has a terrible lunch experience. Then, Dick and his cat devise a convoluted scheme to restore order to the universe.

The Screen Legend wanders around somebody's house, tells amazing stories, and brushes his teeth.

The Screen Legend reluctantly agrees to attend SpaceCon and sign autographs for fans, in exchange for a lifetime achievement award and free liquor. But, what would have been an easy day for a normal person, predictably turns into a debacle for Dick.