Ray Barone's life seems perfect: he's a successful sportswriter living with his wife Debra and three kids, but trouble comes in paradise in the shape of his interfering mother, grumpy father and resentful brother. In this opening episode of the series, Debra wants a peaceful birthday with Ray, so he tells his parents and brother that there's no party: a lie with embarrassing consequences.

Debra is upset that Ray has a problem showing affection for her. Her anger is nothing, however, compared with her reaction when he shares his problem with his interfering parents.

Ray hopes the family-themed eulogy he gives for his Uncle Gus will extinguish the sparks of a festering family feud.

Robert asks Ray and Debra to complete IQ tests as part of his criminal psychology class. He tells them both that they scored higher than the other as part of an experiment.

Debra is suspicious when Angelina, a waitress at Nemo's, calls Ray at home. Although it's all perfectly innocent, Ray feels guilty and paranoid, and the situation is blown out of proportion.

Frank gets a few anecdotes published in `Reader's Digest', and decides he would like his own newspaper column.