At a Navy recruitment center, allergy-prone Melvin Jones (Jerry Lewis) and suave singer Al Crowthers (Dean Martin), who has bum knees, fret about being accepted. But both men pass and are sent to a San Diego training base, where Melvin's phobias and allergies antagonize Chief Petty Officer Lardoski (Robert Strauss). Dragged into a kissing contest with local girls -- which causes his allergies to flare up -- Melvin is put on the spot to win a kiss from film star Corinne Calvet (as herself).