Doug Feiger

D.J. is busted at school for having obscene reading material. Dan meets with the principal, but dreads it; because he is certain that the reading material D.J. brought to school is one of his porno magazines. He soon discovers that the reading material is far more sick and twisted than just a skin magazine; begging the question of where D.J. got it, and leaving him speechless by the answer. Roseanne and Dan discover that Jackie has been keeping a dark secret, and each of them try to help her by dealing with it in their own, unique, way.

After some prodding from (and striking deals with) her Mom, Darlene agrees to go to the prom with David, where she has a surprise deal of her own for her boyfriend. Roger attempts to strike a deal with Dan, using the temptation of being able to make him a ton of money, but is met with a mixed reaction from the Conners. Roseanne attempts a surprise fix-up between Jackie and Roger for a couples' night out, but to Roseanne's surprise, Roger shows up with a date. His choice of date is a jaw-dropping, shock to everyone.