3rd Rock from the Sun

Dick feels devastated and alone, deserted by his alien crewmates. He sits in the Rambler in a field, staring at the night sky and lamenting, when Harry, Sally and Tommy appear beside the car with Janet, a wife for Dick sent by the Big Giant Head. They explain that the BGH thinks that Mary Albright is distracting Dick from his duties. Dick is determined to ditch Janet until he learns that shes the BGHs niece. Sally and Harry are delighted to be back on earth, and theyre even more delighted that Janet, enthusiastic about taking on all the wifely duties, has taken over the cooking and cleaning. When a local newscaster reports an alien landing, Officer Don gets on the case, and its up to Tommy to convince him that the evidence of a landing site that hes found is merely the result of a teenage prank. Janet is fitting into the family rather well, but Dick realizes it cant work, because Janet is determined to have sex with him. He makes her cry when he tells her they have no future. Mary gets suspicious when she sees Dicks elaborate lunch, packed in a picnic basket with a flower. And Dick feels guilty about the way hes treating Janet, because, he admits, she really is a nice person.

Dick frantically tries to deflect Marys suspicions by suggesting that they elope. A puzzled Mary says that is not really possible at the moment and a disgusted Nina says Dick should tell Mary whats really going on. Officer Don is so angry when Tommy confesses to vandalizing the field that he decides to arrest him and charge him as an adult. Janet goes to Rutherford to deliver Dicks lunch, and on her way to his office, encounters Bug and Leon; shes strongly attracted to these muscular young college boys. When Janet arrives, Mary demands an explanation. Dick reluctantly tells her hes married but his wife doesnt understand him. Mary is furious and the engagement is off. Dick tells Janet he doesnt love her, and Janet protests that he has to; shes his wife and those are the rules. When Dick tells her there are no such rules, shes ecstatic. Dicks been nothing but a huge pain, she tells him and shes going out to find someone whos rich and good looking. When the aliens learn Tommys been arrested, they rush to rescue him but learn that hes already out of jail since Officer Don paid his fine. Dick rushes to tell Mary that Janet is gone, but Mary is adamant; Dick lied to her about Janet and its over between them. Dick confides to the other aliens that hell win Mary back because hes sent her an album of naked pictures of him.

Dicks baffled that Marys still upset about his having a wife; hes moved on, why cant she? But theyre both guilty of indulging in a few practical jokes for revenge. Tommys drafted into playing lead guitar in a garage band, Whiskey Kittens. He hesitates until he learns that August has always wanted to date a guy in a band. Harry asks if he can be their roadie. Sally cancels a date with Officer Don to go to a yoga class with Mary, and Dick and Don commiserate about how maddening women are; Tommy tells Don he should let Sally know whos boss. In class, Sallys perturbed when Matthew, the yoga instructor, gives Mary all his attention. Tommy tells the other band members that they really need more than one song. Don gives Sally an ultimatum, and shes delighted; she has a crush on her yoga instructor and is determined to have him. Dick decides to take full possession of his office and orders maintenance guys to remove Marys things. Sally asks Don to run a background check on Matthew so she can determine the best possible way to bring him down. When Mary sees that her desk is gone, she tells Dick that the trickery that has been going on between them has to stop. As Dick is gloating, he realizes his arms have been resting in glue and hes glued to his desk. Tommys kicked out of the band for having a bad attitude. Sally has coffee with Matthew, and he marvels at the extraordinary means she used to get his attention; flowers, radio dedications, skywriting. Hes flattered, but now that the thrill of the chase is over, Sally wonders whats next; shes ready to move and captivate other men. Dick, Don, Tommy and Harry all agree that women are mystifying.

Dick answers Marys phone at the office and accepts an invitation for the two of them to spend the weekend with Marys parents who arent aware that Dick and Mary have broken up. Mary is frantic when she finds out, but agrees to go and pretend theyre still engaged. Dick had promised Nina hed help her move over the weekend, so he enlists the other aliens to help her. Dick is desperate to win the respect and approval of Marys parents (George and Martha), and they seem to warm to him immediately, but it quickly becomes apparent that the parents are a bit bizarre and have an adversarial relationship that they make no effort to hide. To Marys horror, George relates to Dick (in excruciating detail) embarrassing moments from Marys girlhood, and Marys mortified. But Dick tells Mary he really likes her parents. Mary feels compelled to tell Dick some family secrets that change his attitude about George and Martha, and Dick immediately confronts them that leads to a huge argument between the parents. Dick is completely freaked out by the family drama, but Mary and her parents are grateful that its all out in the open.

Dick arrives at the doctors office to take his first physical, but gets frightened and leaves before it starts; Dick tells the other aliens, who are getting ready for their Halloween festivities, that he couldnt go through with the physical. Mary and Nina stress to Dick how important it is for him to go back and get his physical, and Nina asks him what hes afraid of. Dick goes back to the doctor, but this time leaves in the middle of the physical and without his clothes. Mrs. Dubcek visits the aliens and admires their Halloween costumes. While shes at the apartment, she accidentally drops her lighter down the air vent. Dick encounters Dr. Howard, his physician, at the faculty party, and Dick pretends he ran out of Dr. Howards office-not because he was scared, but as a protest. Harry is alone at home watching television when he begins to hear ghoulish wails. He very quickly realizes theyre not coming from the television. Dick arrives home and also hears the frightening sounds; he and Harry are both terrified. Mary comes in, and Dick and Harry try to act unconcerned, but Dick soon tells Mary that they have a ghost. Mary hears nothing, says there are no ghosts and reproaches Dick for having become such a coward. Sally and Tommy are staked out at Marys house in an attempt to defend it from pranksters, but Sallys taking the job a bit too seriously. Alone again, Dick and Harry have determined that the wailing is coming from the vent. The lights go out, and they hide in the closet. They venture out of the closet and timidly go to the basement to investigate. After attempting an exorcism, they discover Mrs. Dubcek, who got caught in the crawl space looking for her lighter. Dick gets his physical and tells the other aliens that Halloween has taught him that we should always face our fears. But hes learned from Mrs. Dubcek that the ghost of a murdered man actually does haunt their apartment.

Dick is perplexed when he finds that his clothes no longer fit, but its apparent to everyone else that hes gained a significant amount of weight. Nina tells him that with the changes that have been going on in his life, hes probably eating to fill the void left by Mary. Tommy becomes suspicious that August is cheating on him, so Harry volunteers to do a little detective work. Sally tells Dick hes sloppy, fat and has to do something about it. Sallys having her own problems with some tomato plants shes trying to grow, and Harry suggests she talk to them. Dick has a hard time adjusting to life as a dieter; he isnt prepared to give up the foods he loves, and step aerobics isnt for him. August realizes that Harrys following her around with a camera and gets him in trouble with Officer Don. Dick decides that Nina is right; the body has a design flaw: it thinks it can fill an emotional void with food. Sally has developed a deep attachment to her tomato plants and loses it when Dick wants to eat one of the tomatoes. Harry discovers that August really is cheating on Tommy. And, as a last resort, Dick attends a Fat Losers class and finds that Mary is also present. He humiliates her in the class by telling everyone about their break-up, but at the office the next day they reconcile and pig out on junk food.