Onion News Network

When one of the network's most beautiful reporters is tragically kidnapped, the Onion News Network leaps into action. Brooke Alvarez runs down the biggest stories of the day on the Onion News Network's top-rated show, FactZone. Co-host Tucker Hope delivers the Daily Briefing on his high-tech touch-screen, The Recon Wall 4000.

As a winter storm batters the Midwest, Brooke Alvarez oversees an army of reporters from her vantage point in the FactZone. Washington correspondent Jane Carmichael and senior field reporter Brian Scott are always at the ready when breaking news happens.

FactZone celebrates five years of total news dominance. Brooke Alvarez, the news anchor with more stalkers than any other major network on-screen personality, tracks the top stories of the day. Millions of viewers tune in nightly to watch Alvarez, who is as beautiful as she is informed. If you're watching Brooke Alvarez, you're not alone.

A predator drone plane stands trial in military court. Brooke Alvarez delivers a 30-minute nonstop news assault, covering politics, entertainment, science, and business news in the FactZone. It's no wonder more Americans find out what to think by turning to the Onion News Network.

After America suffers a cyber attack, Brooke Alvarez interviews top U.S. officials on the subject via satellite. If someone saw something, did something, or allegedly did something, you'll see them on the FactZone. Americans no longer have any excuse to be uninformed.