Martin’s twelfth birthday takes a bad turn when his new bicycle gets trashed by the Bonner brothers. Seeking protection from another bully, Declan Mannion, Martin is forced to play cupid to set him up with his sister. Outraged at Martin being bullied, Liam confronts Mr. Bonner, but instead the pair strike up an unlikely friendship, and Liam is welcomed into a clandestine support group for disenchanted fathers.

Martin’s mother Debra hits the campaign trail to support Mary Robinson’s bid for the Irish presidency, but with little funding decides to turn to the owner of local fish factory, Brendan “Touchy” Feely, for support. A neglected Martin soon tires of his sister’s cooking and befriends new boy Trevor whose chef-parents feed the boys like kings - until Martin overstays his welcome.

Martin decides to shorten his commute to school by demolishing part of his garden wall. However this new shortcut proves all too popular with the other schoolkids and parents, turning the garden into a busy thoroughfare, infuriating his mother who’s trying to launch her new weight-loss business from the garden workshop.

Liam’s younger brother Daniel arrives unexpectedly for a visit after a long absence, causing a lot of tension at home. When Martin makes a strange new discovery, Uncle Daniel tries to tell him about the birds and bees, but Liam insists that he should be the one to do it.

Martin decides to become an altar boy and is indoctrinated into a group of very cool and very corrupt young Catholics. As he rises through the ranks he discovers that the leader of them all is the earnest, keyboard-playing Dessie. And when his sister Fidelma falls for this corrupt young Don, Martin must face a decision.

It’s the last week of school and Martin is determined to end his time there with a bang. Sinead’s hard work at exam time causes financial pressure for Debra and Liam, and Fidelma drops a bombshell on the family.