Professional crime-scene cleaner Wicky has to mop up after a particularly grisly murder, but keeps being interrupted by people unexpectedly dropping in on the crime scene.

Extremely pompous author Terence Redford is trying to write his latest masterpiece but is finding it difficult to concentrate: partly because of writer's block, and partly because his grandmother has recently burnt to death in his living room.

When he brings the wrong keys to a crime scene, Wicky meets the neighbour, and might have met his match.

Crime scene cleaner Wicky arrives at a stately home to clean up the aftermath of a burglary gone wrong. He meets the aristocratic owner, who is keen to tell him all about her ancestors, her collection of antiques, and what the world is coming to.

Wicky attends the home of `Home Alone Hosea', a social media influencer with millions of followers and an unhealthy obsession with the 1980s. Wicky is amazed to be surrounded by the relics of his childhood, one of which has electrocuted a repairman.

Wicky heads to the country to clean up a nasty mess in a holiday home and finds that the house is owned by his first `proper' girlfriend, Maggie. It's a chance to catch up with the one that got away over a nice cup of tea and a bloodstain.