Ozzy appears on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno as a performer. Kelly and Sharon come with Ozzy to the show, but Jack stays at home, watching a documentary about marijuana instead.

The family's numerous dogs have been excreting far too many times in the house and ruining valuable furniture in the process. The worst dog is Lola, a bulldog which belongs to Jack. Lola has already demolished a valuable sofa. Sharon threatens Jack she'll give Lola away. Jack says Lola is demolishing the furniture because Kelly has bought a new cat into the house, and Lola is angry.

Ozzy releases his first solo album in six years. Ozzy and Sharon arrive at an in-store gig. Ozzy signs autograph sand takes photos with fans, including an entire squad of security guards.

The Osbournes have new neighbours, and they had been playing loud European dance music late at night. Sharon confronts them over the fence and tells them to go in their "perfectly big house" to play their music. The neighbours refuse to go inside, and Ozzy declares war.

Ozzy is working out with a personal trainer in preparation for an upcoming tour. Sharon talks with a friend over the phone saying that the original name for Ozzy's tour was going to be 'Black Christmas' but was inappropriate because of the 9/11 attacks and its aftermath, so they renamed it 'Merry Mayhem'. Sharon adds that Ozzy will come on stage in a sleigh that will go around the stadium.

Ozzy is touring while Sharon returns home, planning to reunite with Ozzy in Houston because she misses him so much. Kelly complains about her twisted ankle after falling into a hole exactly the same size as her foot.