Don and Glenda enter a parents' talent quest. Convinced that she'll die of shame, Taylor drags Hector along on a crusade to prove via DNA analysis that Don and Glenda are in fact not her parents, and therefore can't enter the talent quest.

Taylor goes up against Brittany Flune for the position of school captain. Taylor finds herself determined to win, all the while trying to ignore her father's petty annual Christmas lights rivalry with Brittany's father, Michael Flune.

Taylor claims she can surf, but when her crush Leon invites her to enter a competition, she feels she has no choice but to agree. Taylor is forced to learn how to surf within a few short days, on her dad's massive Malibu surfboard.

Taylor arrives home from school to find her mother creating a nude sculpture of herself for an art competition, to be attended by her entire school. She is forced to create a diversion by dressing as a mermaid, but things only get worse.

Taylor encounters a Buddhist monk, who shares the concept of a simple life without possessions. She starts to live this life by sacrificing her material possessions for true happiness, but quickly finds out that this is not as easy as it sounds.

Taylor gets a crush on a teenage martial arts instructor, and signs up for some classes. Her parents decide it's high time they give her the dreaded talk, butTaylor is mortified at the concept and desperately tries to avoid them.