At JFK's kegger, Abe Lincoln tries to win CleopatraÆs heart, Gandhi gets drunk on non-alcoholic beer, and Principal Scudworth gets beaten up for saying the phrase "raise the roof."

Abe and JFK campaign against each other in the school presidential elections, which, as you might expect, leads to Marilyn Manson singing about the food pyramid.

When Gandhi is diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, America's most famous A.D.D. victim, Tom Green, teaches the school that you can't get the disease from toilet seats.

At the Clone High Film Festival, Abe pours his heart into a movie about a football-playing giraffe, George Washington Carver and Gandhi make a mixed-race action comedy called Black and Tan, and Joan of Arc directs a bizarre, avant-garde film.

Clone High tackles the hard-hitting issue of Sleepy Driving when Abe and JFK square off in a drag race for Cleo's love, and Mr. Butlertron gets into a Battle Bots-style fight with a cocksure test-grading machine.

The Clone High basketball team doesn't allow girls or animals to play, so Joan of Arc takes a cue from her historic counterpart and disguises herself as a boy by putting on a comically large mustache. (ESPN's Chris Berman and Dan Patrick guest star.)