Steven Toast is a successful actor. Now in his forties, Toast regularly appears in prestigious television dramas, and on the London stage. However, he has made a recent career faux pass by electing to star in a new controversial West End stage play. The play is considered so outrageous, that Toast is frequently attacked by appalled members of the British public. Recently divorced, Toast is staying with his friend Ed Howzer Black and Ed's elderly mistress, the agoraphobic Goodhouse. In the pilot episode Toast is asked to audition for the long running television series, 'Inspector Somerset'. However, the producer has been recently imprisoned for racial chanting on the set of his own production, so Toast has to audition for the part of a gay corrupt detective during prisoners' visiting time.

In this first episode of 'Toast of London' things seem to be looking up for actor Steven Toast. Not only has he won a Best Actor Award, but he's also getting more than a bit of attention from the ladies, mysterious journalist Susan Random and the beautiful Jemima Gina. But Toast's agent Jane Plough's lack of computer literacy skills, and a rogue psychopath, threaten to derail his good fortune.

Toast's excitement at winning a part in a new play is tempered by two facts. One, his nemesis Ray Purchase is also in it. Two, there's a rumour his director, Acker Herron, has a history of murdering difficult actors. Romantically, Toast has to choose between his old RADA contemporary, the fun-loving and beautiful Greta Cargo, and a prostitute.

Caught in the middle of an acrimonious and expensive divorce Toast needs to find a lot of cash, fast. Given two potential solutions, a starring role in a new feature film being made by a rich Arab billionaire or a laxative ad, he plumps for the former, despite the protestations of his agent Jane Plough. But given the content of the movie, has Toast made the right decision?

Toast's new girlfriend, the aristocratic Portia de Coogan thinks it's about time Toast met her father Lord Fotheringham. To make the best impression, it's vital Toast works on his sense of humour. Seeing as he doesn't have one, this may prove a challenge. Professionally, some voice over work for the Royal Navy leads to a terrifying visit to the launch of their latest submarine...The Penetrator.

Toast is tired of doing crummy voiceovers and appearing every night in his terrible play. With the help of new agent, Brooke Hooberman, he tries his hand at a new career...an author of erotic literature. He also finds himself a glamorous new lady friend, Kate Khan, who would be perfect if she didn't have her deaf, dumb and blind aunt constantly in tow.